Running Your Marriage Race

Marriage is a non-competitive race. But it’s so easy to get competitive. For example, which of your couple friends got married first? Had a baby first? Bought a house first? That creates pressure! So how do you stay in your lane and focus on your race?

In marriage we are seen as one, but we are also individuals with unique personalities. And that shows up in how we approach our race. So, what kind of race is marriage?

· Marriage is like a marathon. You want to maintain a good pace and go the distance.

· Marriage is like the hurdles. Always one obstacle after another that you must clear.

· Marriage is like a relay. One spouse performs and passes the baton to the other.

· Marriage is like a sprint. We start out fast with great energy and purpose.

Marriage is at some point all of these. But think of marriage also as a three-legged race. It’s fun, but at the same time it’s awkward trying to coordinate every step with another person. This is what makes marriage so hard and makes it feel like running with the proverbial “Ball and chain”. So how do we run it best?

Hebrews 12:1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.

What is true for the Christian race is also true for the marriage race. But how do you run with patience? And don’t those words sound contradictory? If I’m running, I’m in a hurry! If I had patience, I’d be walking! So why do I need patience when I’m trying to “run” a race? The answer is, the race is not about you. This verse says nothing about you. It says “we” and “us” 5 times. You are running a race in which you are joined by love to your spouse by the vows that you spoke before God and witnesses. You may be ready to run, but winning the race depends on exercising patience and getting on the same page with your spouse.

So here are three simple take-aways. Stay in your lane. Focus on YOUR marriage race. Be prepared to adjust the race strategy as often as needed to accommodate your spouse. That’s how you successfully run your marriage race.